by Nijah J. | Oct 9, 2013 | Uncategorized
If someone had asked me this question a few years ago, the first thing that would’ve come to mind would have been something about appearance. Since I have matured, I realized that looks are good but they can’t and won’t keep a relationship together. Of course he and I must have a physical attraction, but it isn’t at the top of the list. Why? People change. They lose and gain weight. They change their hair color, cut it down and also grow it out. Again, these are things that are subject to change at any given moment. Essentially, what I need to know is where his heart lies – something that you will NOT find by getting caught up on his 6 pack and chiseled chest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pro health too, but being handsome does not give me any information about the inner man.
So here’s my list of the top 5 things that are most important to me in a future mate:
1. We must be on the same page spiritually. We might not attend the same church but as long as we worship the same God.
2. Character- How does he act when around family/friends? Kind, considerate, funny etc. Can I be myself around him? Are we friends? Is he emotionally available?
3. Does he know his purpose?
4. His words are followed by actions that are consistent
5. How does he handle his money?
So there we have it peeps! *Keep in mind that numbers 2-5 are equally important, therefore I did not write them in any particular order.* Feel free to let me know what you think and/or what you would add to this list!
by Nijah J. | Oct 7, 2013 | Uncategorized
As a young child, the kinds of things that run through your mind with regards to your future are the physical things- how much money you will make, the kind of car you’ll drive and the husband who’s going to sweep you off your feet and with whom you’ll live happily ever after (just like the storybooks). As such, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be, the answer was a teacher. I loved grading papers and played pretend school with my doll babies. I had dreams of making top dollars and come home to my prince charming in my very own dream house. After all, I was going to be the modern day Barbie!
So where am I in the scheme of things? I have become a teacher and I am driving a nice ride. I’ve also had the privilege of advancing career wise, obtaining both a Bachelor and Master’s degree before the age of 30. I have the student loans to prove it! (Insert laugh) Although I don’t have my “dream” house yet, I am living comfortably in my one bedroom apartment, of which I am in the process of redecorating! My Ken also hasn’t come yet, but I believe that the next relationship that I enter in will be it. I can honestly say that I am glad that Ken hadn’t entered my life sooner, because I wasn’t in a place to even recognize him. As the saying goes, “Be the kind of person you want to meet”, and I had to own to up to that. I was so busy working on the stuff on the outside that I failed to address what was going on on the inside which is equally important in your journey of self-discovery. It’s the totality of the whole person that really matters in the scheme of things. Furthermore, you must strive to be complete in all areas of life.
Prior to digging deep and looking at myself square in the eye, I found out that I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt!! Finding that out was both devastating and life changing because although I wasn’t where I wanted to be as far as money and relationship wise, I had a great opportunity to get stronger in areas that I had once disregarded as unimportant…and so the process began.
Today, at the age of 33, I stand a young woman is confident, vibrant and fearless. Through life’s journey, I’ve learned that it is imperative to work from the inside out as opposed to the outside in. So to answer the question…Am I where I thought I would be? No, I am a lot farther than I could have ever imagined and this is just the beginning!
by Nijah J. | Sep 25, 2013 | Uncategorized
Oh snap!!! Is she really wearing her arms AND back out?????? Proudly, the answer is yes!!!
This was my first time wearing my arms and back out without some type of cover up/shrug/scarf. For one, it was the beginning of summer so it was crazy hot and this outfit was too cute to have it covered up. Not only that, I felt good and I knew I looked good!!!!!
In all honesty, I purchased this outfit in 2012 and I hung it up in the back of the closet because I wasn’ t confident enough to wear it. A few weeks later, while organizing my summer clothes, I saw it and I moved it to the front of the closet. Then… I decided to rock it!
What a bold move! I’m so thankful for the mindset that I have now. As you can see, the decision to wear this jumper as confidently as I did took guts! Do I have the “perfect body”? No, and it doesn’t matter. However, what matters most to me is that I celebrate my curves!
Each time I step out of the house, I want to look like I took time with myself- “hair did, nails did, everything did” (insert laugh) – because I do. In essence, how I feel about my outward appearance is an expression of just how good I feel on the inside! This is tremendous progress and I am so thankful that I went through the process to get to this point in my life. I truly love the woman I see in the mirror!
In closing, I encourage my curvy sisters to take fashion risks and be confident with those decisions. As long as the outfit accentuates your curves, then I say go for it! So what you have some imperfections. Learn your own personal style so you can wear the clothes and the clothes not wear you!!!!!
by Nijah J. | Sep 21, 2013 | Uncategorized
Picture this…you’re in a crowded supermarket. All of the lines are long and yet you only have 2 small items. Depending on your mood, you may get a little annoyed because you had planned on getting in and out of the grocery store. Then you come to a resolve and say “I might as well wait” because truth of the matter is, your time is coming! You are next in line! Knowing which line isn’t as important as your attitude while you are waiting.
I recently read a blog post by plus model Christina Mendez entitled “Model Dry Spell”. In the article, she talked about perfecting your craft – taking classes, updating your comp cards, etc- while waiting for your next gig. In her case, she is known in the plus model world but the advice she gave was practical. Moreover, it reminded me of the importance of timing in regards to blessings that you haven’t received but are yet waiting for. I am still waiting on my big break but instead of becoming impatient, I rejoice in this time of preparation.
To my readers, I encourage you to do the same. Take a minute and ask yourself these questions:
Are you getting yourself prepared for your big break? If yes, how?
Are you actively working and researching?
Like you, I have a bunch of ideas in my head and I ask God each day for direction. Moreover, don’t mistake your season of waiting as wasted time. Family, this is just the beginning and I keep telling myself that I’m on the verge of something great…but like all great things, it takes time to achieve but the good news is that I am…willing…to…WAIT!!!!!! *huge smile*
by Nijah J. | Sep 2, 2013 | Uncategorized
Successful bakers have mastered the art of taking chances with food in terms of cooking, seasoning and preparation. However, one thing they all have in common is that a stove/oven must be used and the food should be cooked at a certain temperature and for a certain amount of time to receive the expected outcome. They also need all the ingredients and the right measures. Let’s say she wanted to make waffles, she would need batter, milk, eggs and a waffle iron. Without a waffle iron, she would have pancakes. They taste good too, but as you can see without having the necessities you won’t get the desired results.
The same is with weight loss. If you want to lose weight, you have to have the right ingredients and know that it’s a process. TAKE YOUR TIME! Map out realistic goals that can be met, instead of lose 5 pounds in 5 days. Sure, you will lose weight but that’s not the healthy way to do it. You must be focused. You can’t pig out all week and expect the scale to move. It takes effort on your part, to do what is necessary to achieve the desired results. Start walking every day or dust off that Wii or Xbox you bought a few years ago- even take off the clothes off that exercise bike and use it! It also takes dedication because the weight does not come off overnight. Sure, there are fad diets out here (I’ve even tried them) but I gained the weight back, so did I really learn anything? Don’t get me wrong quick fixes do work but you MUST learn how to eat. Lastly, you must be consistent. Once you apply those principles, you’ve already won half the battle!
As I close, here are a few tips to help you get started:
1) Take a before picture.
2) Invest in a good pair of sneakers.
3) Stock your fridge with good food – lay low on the processed foods
4) Limit desserts and sweets.
5) Buy some cute/stylish workout clothes
6) Track your progress by using other ways other than the scale alone.
Now there you have it…so get off those buns and get moving!!!
by Nijah J. | Aug 18, 2013 | Uncategorized
I said before that this year will be a year of firsts…and the experience I am about to blog about today is definitely one of those firsts!!!
On Tuesday, August 13, 2013, I had the opportunity to visit the Dr. Oz’s show as both an audience member – and a participant. I was super excited. Me, little ole me was headed to the big city to view a show I had watched on television before. I was also going to participate in a segment – woo hoo, camera time!!!!! So, there I was. I arrived to the studio super early because I have no sense of direction when it comes to NY and I also wanted to prepare in case there was crazy traffic. I left my house at 11am and got to Manhattan around 12pm. I parked in a local garage- yeah I could have saved money by taking the train but I am not to familiar with them so driving was my only option. The parking garage was a few blocks away so I took my time and walked to the studio…and there I stood…in line…for the DR. OZ SHOW!!!!!!
Now I won’t go into detail about what the show was about because I do not want to spoil the experience. However, I will say that I had a great time, met some new people and will update you all when the show airs!!!
Update: The show aired on 9/13/13. Listed below is a clip of the segment I participated in! I had a great time and learned how to get free stuff – which is always a plus. Check me out @ 2:35!!!
http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/how-get-almost-anything-free
Blog Comments